Sunday, December 19, 2010

Just a little weepy...

You know, its a funny thing. I've been a little weepy lately. I'm not really sure why. I'm not much of a crier. Anger is a closer frienemy than my tears. I took a job at my church as the Administrative coordinator and I've seen a lot of brokenness, broken families. It breaks my heart. I'll see a man walking down the street with dingy clothes and a limp, breaks my heart. I talk to one of my younglife girls who doesn't have money for lunch. Hear a story about a kid at a high school who is hungry and ashamed and hardened because of it. A friend who was raped and wavers in belief of God's goodness because of Man's sin. This all brings me to tears, and I really do think its a good thing, the tears that is. Why, you might ask? Because I think these are things that break the heart of my Heavenly Father. He did not create us to know hunger or pain. He created us to be in a perfect relationship with him. It hurts to know that there is a chance that things could have never turned out as they have. This life was chosen for us by those that were before us and we still don't seem to choose God the way he desires us. Even if we do, others don't always do and that leaves us to still deal with the mess of Sin. There is grace and beauty in this story though. We know Sin because God created us free to choose, complete freedom to choose. With the ultimate choice of Him the opposite is also ultimate. Free love is better than conditional any day and God knew that. He wants us to be free lovers, never forced into relationship with him. When I see the opposing side I see no other choice. I choose to live for God because He is good and I was created for him and by him. I want to be in a relationship with him. Why would I want to eat from a garbage can when a banquet table is being offered?That seems nonsensical. Choosing him also makes me a little weepy sometimes too, but in a different way, in way that says, "I am home and safe." I have a hope in my future because the redeeming power God has offered through Christ. And thats a big deal. This world is not the end of my story, its only the beginning. Praise God, heaven here I come, I'm coming home someday.

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