Thursday, August 4, 2011

Our condition...

It seems a common theme, our condition, in this season in my life. I had the pleasure of being close with one of the most dearest people in the world. In this closeness his brokenness has been revealed and it breaks my heart. I see how this brokenness effects his view of himself, others and Christ, most importantly. Which, of course, a broken view of Christ leads to a whole new mess. This hurt in his life seems to have stemmed from how his broken father related to him. Its a shame, this cycle of passed around hurt. Gosh, what I wouldn't do to fix this brokenness for him. I think that this also is the heart of the Father. He would do anything to save us from ourselves. And he has, in Christ Jesus. He has pulled out all the stops from the beginning of time to this moment. The only thing left undone is forcing us to accept, which he will never do because then we would no longer be free lovers. There have been a great many times in my life where sin has caused me to see Christ incorrectly. Most of the time I was completely oblivious to it until things were out of hand anyway. Tragic, that is. The worst was guilt and shame. I was so busy trying to hide it and protect myself from consequence that it built walls of rock and concrete between my heart and my Jesus. Who knew? It took me a couple years to figure that one out. But when I did, gosh, I could have slapped myself hundreds of times. My pride protecting my shame only kept the grace of God out. Stupid. The second I let go of all of that the world around me and inside of me changed. And it keeps doing so every time I choose to see God rather than sin. He sure does have it all figured out. I picked up the books "Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Towzer and "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. Who knew how well these books go together. Previous to these I read The Shack for the second time and the first two books of the Chronicles of Narnia series. It seems strange to me how God can purpose timings of books I want to read for the path He has me on. I've had some of them for a while sitting on my shelf wanting to be read and not being. But now I am and the timing is perfect. It seems as thoug He's taking me on a journey of self-sorting and knowing to bring about a more clear view of who He truly is. Its funny how easily we muddy that up. I'm excited for this Journey because what comes to mind when I think about God is the most important thing about me, says Towzer and I believe him, fore it effects the whole rest of my life. Bring it on. Pray for me?

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